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Joke of the Day

"The reason women will never be the ones to propose is because as soon as she gets on her knees The man will start unzipping"

"Who were the shortest people in the Bible? Let's see. There'sKneehighmiah, Bildad the Shoe-Height...oh, and Peter, who said, ""Silver andgold I have none,"" and no one could be much shorter than that."

"If you really want to get to know someone, start arguing with them."

"Did you hear about the angry pancake!? Well one day he ***flipped***!!!"

"John Cena woke up in the hospital John Cena woke up in the hospital with no idea of what was going on. The nurse walked in and he asked ""Where am I?"" She responded ""ICU"" He said ""No you don't."""

"What does the NFL and Broke Back Mountain have in common? Cowboys that suck."

"People who say they're 'living in the moment' must be hitting the refresh button like a motherfucker."

"Why do you never tease a fat girl with lisp? Because she's thick and tired of it."

"Everybody laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian Well, nobody's laughing now"

"Students, unfollow me now. Tonight's drunk subtweets might sting a little. Especially you Britney. Your lab report was a pile of dog shit."