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Joke of the Day

"9: Dad, did you know that in some cultures the groom doesn't even know the bride until after they're married. Me: That's every culture son."

"A doctor was listening to a teenage girl's heart ""All right,"" he said, ""take big breaths."" ""What?"" she said. ""Big breaths!"" ""Yeth!"" she said. ""And I'm only thixteen!"""

"What did the DNA say to the mRNA? ""I'm better without U."""

"People used to laugh at me when I would say ""I want to be a comedian"", well nobody's laughing now"

"My wife is mad at me. Get this, her diary says I have boundary issues."

"Walking by the lingerie section Youngest: Why do they make the underwear so fancy? No one is ever going to see it anyway. Me: Uh huh."

"What's the difference between a turtle and a tortoise? I don't know but your mother's a whore!"

"""But Lot's wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt, and Lot was like 'wtf' "" Genesis 19:26"

"the numa numa man just bougt a $70million house and im here at the library trying to photocopy a fruit roll up"

"How many points do I get if I hit a Pokemon player with my car?"