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Joke of the Day

"Sex is like ping pong. I suck at it."

"Guy in USA:(phone) you ready? Guy in Australia: (phone) hell yeah Both:123 *each drop a piece of bread onto ground* Both: EARTH SANDWICH!"

"I went out for a pelican curry last night.... It was really nice, but the bill was enormous!"

"Can anyone please post some good accountant jokes? Meeting with one tomorrow. Thanks"

"I got kicked out of the library today I got kicked out of the library for putting the women's rights book in the fiction section"

"""It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside"" ME: Oh thank god ""It's who you are on the inside"" ME: Dang"

"Food has replaced sex in my life. I can't even get into my own pants."

"Boat Bust.Out.Another.Thousand"

"I think that reddit's lockdown was an entirely democratic process... achieved completely by popular voat"

"Why did the Pharaoh Build a Statue of Himself? Because he Sphinx he's the best."