108473

Joke of the Day

"I took my dog to the vet The vet picked up the dog and examined him and said ""I'm sorry, I've got to put him down"". ""Why, what's wrong with him?"" ""He's too heavy"""

"Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight? BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE"

"You know, Mexican and Blacks jokes are really starting to bore me. Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal."

"Why shouldn't you trust a midget? Because their head's close to their butt."

"What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window."

"So you wanna learn to speak with an Irish accent do you? Whale oil beef hooked."

"I think Mondays were invented to punish us for all the fun we have on the weekends!"

"The pub manager is showing the new busboy around the kitchen, when they come to two doors. The busboy asks, ""Which one is the 'in' door?"" ""Let me show you"", says the manager, and 'e walks in."

"ME *sees baby crab in stroller*: He's so cute! I just wanna rip his lil legs off dip em in butter and eat them! MOM CRAB *beaming*: thank u"

"Why was Oedipus against profanity? because he kisses his mother with that mouth."