108357

Joke of the Day

"Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is ""good"" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!"

"If I were a millionaire, I'd probably sign up Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow for a movie called, 'Salt' & 'Pepper'."

"If a Facebook video says ""you won't believe what happens next"" then I replace ""believe"" with ""care"""

"*goes into kitchen *makes toast *pours coffee *sits at table *opens Sunday paper ""WHO ARE YOU & WHY ARE YOU IN MY KITCHEN?"" *sighs *leaves"

"What's long, green, and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger"

"Valentines Day is the day that the ""V"" and ""D"" come together .."

"Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make Then they call me ugly and poor."

"No one wants to talk about Dracula's defining quality, turning into thousands of bats to avoid human contact."

"TIFU by hiring a footlong sandwich as a replacement teacher. Oops, wrong sub."

"4 out of 5 dentists agree: Dentist #5 is a real asshole."