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Joke of the Day

"*goes into kitchen *makes toast *pours coffee *sits at table *opens Sunday paper ""WHO ARE YOU & WHY ARE YOU IN MY KITCHEN?"" *sighs *leaves"

"[Old joke alert] Why are dwarfs so depressed? Because six out of seven dwarfs aren't happy."

"[first date] Boy: so where are you from? Me: [points to all you can eat sign] I live here now."

"[Short] What is the best color? Reddit"

"TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation. In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!"

"What do you call a homosexual Hispanic peeping tom? Peeko-da-guyo."

"I was at the public swimming pool today and decided to have a sneaky piss in the deep end. The lifeguard must have noticed - he blew his whistle so fucking loud, I nearly fell in."

"I get a new phone every year just so my friends don't think I'm lying when I tell them I've lost their number Avoidance is expensive"

"Where did Napoleon keep his armies? Up his sleevies."

"What did the dad buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison"