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Joke of the Day

"If I were a millionaire, I'd probably sign up Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow for a movie called, 'Salt' & 'Pepper'."

"Q. Have you heard the latest scandal? A. Dr. Pepper was drunk at a party."

"If you ever see me in a restaurant, please approach my table and do your Drunk Uncle impression. Especially if I'm with family or a girl."

"My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting..."

"Hezbollah put out a new Moisturiser... 100% Shi'a butter."

"Out of all the gruesome noises coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most troubling."

"What do a pizza boy and a gyneocologist have in common? They both smell it but can't eat it."

"My report card always said I was not living up to my full potential. Well, the joke's on them. That really was as good as I was going to get"

"brought a knife onto a flight just so the security agents would tackle me because sometimes it's just nice to be held."

"Why did the blonde run out of shampoo? She kept following the instructions: lather rinse repeat!"