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Joke of the Day

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. They're an efficient people, but not very funny."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"Diarrhoea runs in my jeans"

"Superman: I hate your Bat Cave! I can't get cell service Batman: Your carrier sucks Superman: Oh yeah, who do you use? Batman: Bat Mobile"

"I've officially started crossing my sevens when I write them. It's a fun, easy way to distract myself from the fact that I'll be dead soon!"

"The length of your iPhone cord, plus one inch, is how far away the outlet is from the hotel bedside table."

"For those possibly wondering why the popularity of the emo movement disappeared If your social group is defined by a suicidal nature, don't expect it to last a long time"

"What sex position gives birth to the ugliest children? Ask your parents."

"The other day I went to the doctors office. The doctor said to me, ""You've got to stop masturbating."" I replied, ""What? Why?"" The doctor answered, ""So I can examine you."""

"Did you guys hear that the hadron accelerator exploded? It was mass murder."