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Joke of the Day

"Why was 9 afraid of 20? 28 29's"

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"The jews rated their trips to Auschwitz... they all gave it one star."
"If I ever find a dead body while I'm hiking I'm gonna be like finally"
"Two cows walk in to a bar... Then one of the cows says: ""*Mooooo*"", then the other replies, ""*Fuck, I was supposed to say that*"""
"Driving today I kept seeing protest signs. They all said ""End Road Work."""
"What do you call it when a male mathematician imagines himself having an orgasm? Squirt(-1)."
"What does suicide and marriage have in common? (This one needs work...) Permanent solution to temporary problem."
"What do you call a race ran by female horses? A mare-a-thon."
"Go ahead, criticize my overprotective parenting. But no gorillas were shot on my watch."
"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic ocean with the Titanic? Half way."