21018
Joke of the Day
"clutches my newly bought loaf of bread nervously as i walk past the duck pond"
Next Joke
"I thought of having a threesome But then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents"
"Instead of John I call my bathroom Jim, that way it sounds better when I say I went to the Jim first thing this morning."
"Behind every fat girl there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, you're in the way"
"two muffins were in an oven. one muffin turns to the other muffin and says ""its hot in here "" the second muffin turns to the first muffin and says "" holy shit a talking muffin"""
"A human fart can be louder than a trombone I discovered that at my daughter's school concert."
"Why don't you see blonde pharmacists? They can't get the bottles into the typewriter!"
"My mom and I donated 15 boxes of old books to Goodwill, and in every 100th book I left a note with an urgent spy message."
"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping cart? Take the ""S"" out of safe and the ""F"" out of way!"
"To me, drink responsibly means don't f?cking spill it"