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Joke of the Day

"What can you say to your trainer that will compliment then on your progress and also be wildly inappropriate? You make me hard"

"Did you hear about the farmer's daughter who was sent home from the county fair? She couldn't keep her calves together."

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones sing ""Hey You! Get off of my cloud!"" A Scotsman shouts ""Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"""

"Some lemons just handed me a life."

"They just found a Black guy hanging from a tree with 79 stab wounds in Alabama.... The police say it's the worst case of suicide they've ever seen"

"Papa Bear: I wish he'd Mackle more. Mama Bear: I wish he'd Mackle less. Baby Bear: I tore the throat out of a girl who stole our porridge."

"What's Shia LaBeouf's favorite kind of choral arrangement? DUETS"

"Why did the cookie get fired from his job? He came to work baked."

"[ShowerThought] If George Bush had Affordable Healhcare Act Would it have been called Bushcare?"

"My girlfriend is kind of like a ninja attack.. They're two things I'll never see coming. (I've never been so proud of myself for writing a joke)"