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Joke of the Day

"HOLD YOUR HORSES. Love your horses. Remind your horses everyday how much you love them. Feed your horses."

"I wish scientists could make us as indestructible as cartoons. I've got a list of people I'd like to drop an anvil on."

"Her: I'm just a vintage soul Me: and a vintage face.. That's how the fight started"

"When I call you Hun, it's short for Atilla."

"How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all your booze? You invite two of them."

"If life gives you melons you might be dyslexic."

"My doctor told me I'm suffering from a Superman complex. But I couldn't stay for long, so I had to fly."

"The heart is a barefoot child that keeps running in and out of traffic."

"How do you exorcise a demon? Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups"

"I love you, too because I love you less than three <3"