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Joke of the Day

"Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I've been one for 30 some years now."

"The Dentist says, ""When was the last time you flossed?"" The Patient replies, ""You should know, you were there!"" Heard this at the dentist this morning"

"Why is light beer like having sex in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water."

"You guys, how can true love still exist if we don't have mixed tapes anymore?"

"I don't believe in anything I can't see, hear or touch, like calories. My thighs, however, are clearly very gullible."

"Get a dog from the shelter for your kids and you're a hero but get a hobo from the shelter to babysit your kids and everyone gets all upset"

"After legalizing gay marriages the US became 50 states of gay"

"Comedy Club I sent a comedy club my resume. They looked at it for a second, and laughed their asses off. I thought it was a good sign. I never heard back. Now I work in Corporate America."

"Why was the cancer doctor so tired? He was always oncol"

"Getting older is like being in a prison shower You try to bend over as little as possible."