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Joke of the Day

"Getting older is like being in a prison shower You try to bend over as little as possible."

"Donald Trump is still running for president because it is the only race he hasn't offended yet."

"Have you guys heard about the new store called moderation? *They have everything there!*"

"What do pirates like to wear during the winter? Scarves"

"The school wants to test my kid for gifted but the program doesn't have ""my kid is gifted"" bumper stickers, so, like, what's the point?"

"Silly Political/Finance Joke What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common? They're all going to be 65 this year."

"Some ppl are like, bury me and plant a tree so I live on in nature and I'm like, same but plant potatoes so I can live on in french fries"

"at Nike advertising meeting I need a slogan for these shoes by the end of the day. I don't care how it gets done just do it..hold up a sec"

"What did the baby seal order for lunch? The club sandwich."

"Chris Rock and Drake Bell should make a Christmas special together, about making a song for a product... ...and call it ""Jingle Bell Rock."""