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Joke of the Day

"So I flushed my extra viagra down the toilet... I haven't been able to close the lid in weeks."

"What do flies do at church? Flyspray"

"I just realized the straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress, and not for what I've been using them for all this time."

"I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song."

"What word isn't in the Bat-dictionary? Killing, unless your talking about his parents"

"People that type in all caps are... Capitalists."

"Food preferences area curious thing, I realized that I don't like chocolate anymore ... on the day when I noticed that I don't fit anymore into my old apartment."

"What do you call a cow that gets an abortion? De-calf-inated"

"I get you, anti-evolution people. I'm too lazy to learn science too."

"Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino? Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL"