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Joke of the Day
"People that type in all caps are... Capitalists."
Next Joke
"Republican Health Plan Since Republicans are dismantling Obamacare, they wanted to coin a name for their new health plan. They came up with Nobodycare."
"Why is jumping from great heights the most influential way to die? Because you make an impact"
"I'm so pissed right now I'm going to open a can of... what the hell, when did they start putting child proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass?"
"Pirate joke what I made up What do you call a pirate with two legs, two arms and two eyes? Noob."
"I decided when I turn 21 I'm only going to smoke cigarettes when I drink Guess I'm going to be an alcoholic"
"What did the Chinese man say when ophthalmologist told him he had a cataract? *No, I have a Rincoln Continental!*"
"u can't pet a goldfish without taking it out of the water & even then it's not that satisfying for either party"
"Two melons have a secret love affair... One melon says to the other, ""baby, I love you so much. I just wanna sneak away and get married right now."" The other responds, ""no, we cantaloupe."""
"I thought I fell in love with my blender ...but now I have mixed feelings"