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Joke of the Day

"When going to a furry convention... Everyone is game."

"Pretty sure that I could win any marathon in Kenya that is held on the exact same day as the Boston Marathon."

"How'd the husband know his wife was fooling around? Got home from work, kicked off her panties, and they stuck to the wall"

"Kinda bummed that my pet goldfish died today of a bladder infection. Although to be fair, I probably should have realized something was up when the bowl kept overflowing."

"You may be cool.. ...but you'll never be -274 C cool."

"My friends call me Superman, not because I help people, its because I wear the same clothes everyday"

"If grandmas had an award ceremony, what would it be called? The Grammy's"

"I won't take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move."

"I'm thinking of selling my old vacuum cleaner It's been gathering dust for years."

"Just realized some twitter handles are probably prison ID numbers."