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Joke of the Day

"I was close to becoming a rap god. But then 1 day my mom licked her thumb to wipe a smudge off my face as a kid & ruined all my street cred."

"Me: How many legs does the dog have? 4 y.o: Five Me: There's something wrong with your counting. 4: There's something wrong with the dog."

"What kind of blood did the mna have who culdn't spel right? Typo."

"You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets."

"Let's play the lion and the lion tamer Open your mouth and I'll give you the meat"

"God wouldn't have made children so short if he didn't want you to fart in their faces."

"A man was asked if he would rather have a new circular saw or a ladder... He chose the latter."

"Knock Knock....who's there? SUPRISE MUTHER FUCKER!"

"Where does a vampire go to buy his sheets and towels? Bloodbath&Beyond"

"My neighbor's diary says I have boundary issues."