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Joke of the Day
"I could make some serious money selling nude pics of myself to bulimics with short fingers."
Next Joke
"I received 10 pounds of pot in the mail by mistake. So I did the right thing and called the police to come pick up all 4 pounds."
"I wish there was a sarcasm font so people could read my humour and not be offended."
"Hmm. Every fortune cookie I've opened in the past six months says ""you will die screaming."" Weird."
"So I was sitting outside today when all these guys flew over and just started sticking it in... I must have swatted 20 mosquitos..."
"Why was the tree stretching? So it could be timber!"
"What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it."
"Funny how you can tell a child Santa is made up and they accept it immediately, but you tell an adult God is made up, and they throw a fit."
"No sweetie, you can't have your giant chocolate bunny for breakfast, that's not healthy and also mommy ate it for dinner last night."
"Which scientist invented the nuclear powered floor cleaner? J. Robert Moppenheimer"