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Joke of the Day

"I heard there was an amber alert! I was like ""Shit Terrorist attack!But then my friend told it meant that some kid had gone missing. I was like ""Oh thank god!"""

Next Joke
 
"Are we stopping for ALL pedestrians now? I can understand kids & the elderly. But everyone else should be able to dodge cars."
"Science joke An ion walks into a bar, ""Just you tonight, sir?"" ""No, I'm waiting on one more."""
"What's the difference between three midget mensa members and a female track team? One group is a bunch of cunning runts..."
"So I got a little drunk last night. I was out on my porch yelling ""Get off of my lawn!"" at my wife's yard gnomes."
"best sunscreen ever... Xbox 360"
"Do you know why you should never hire a communist employee? Because they only work in theory"
"The first time your mom saw me naked She asked for an epidural"
"What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent van Gogh?? You gonna eat that?"
"What does PONTIAC stand for? Poor Old Nincompoop Thinks It's A Cadillac"