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Joke of the Day
"Would you watch a turkey dance? No, but I'd watch a chicken strip."
Next Joke
"Got asked to be godfather of my niece, so if anything happens to her parents then someone else has to take care of her because I said no"
"What did the bra say to the hat? you go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift."
"6-year-old: Can I have some Oreos? Me: You have the flu. 6: I'm sick, not dead."
"Musicians are perverts. The drummer sits in the back beating it, the guitarist is constantly fingering minors, the bassist is slapping it around, and they all like the pianist."
"Pepsi? Pep*no*."
"What do Trump and Sanders have in common? They both have an equal chance of winning the Democratic nomination."
"Maybe the baby wasn't on board. Maybe the baby was against the whole thing."
"What do a midget and a dwarf have in common? Very little."
"I'm pretty sure our nanny's grandmother has died like seven times now......"