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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window."

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"Every horse you've ever seen has two people inside them. Horses aren't real. Commitment is."
"Ladies, if you ever need to fend off an attacker, just start talking about what's been going on in your life."
"What's the difference between a star and America? The star has a bright future."
"We need a channel that plays kitten videos. All kittens, all the time. When shit gets intense, turn on the kittens. #kittenchannel"
"Two nuns are riding their bicycles to the Vatican First nun shouts to the other ""I've never come this way before!"" The second nun replies ""don't worry it's just the cobblestones."""
"Ignorance is not bliss. It's just a fancy word for stupid."
"Did you know diarrhea is genetic? It runs in the genes"
"On a scale of one to ten... ...you aren't getting a helpful measurement of your weight"
"I tried commiting suicide today. Never doing that shit again. I almost killed myself"
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