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Joke of the Day

"Q: What kind of bar do fish go to? A: A sand bar."

"If I was a serial killer my name would be ""The suspense"" So my victims would be like ""oh no, the suspense is killing me"" And then we would both laugh right before I kill them."

"British jokes aren't funny anymore. They lack hEUmour."

"Have you ever flicked a cigarette out the window then five minutes later you start to smell something? So you turn around only to find your grandma fingering herself in the back seat."

"I was sexually assaulted by tony the tiger today. I'm pushing charges for rrrrrrape."

"Inside jokes are bitterly resented by the homeless."

"Tell a sad story in 4 words Lifetime Cleveland Browns fan"

"Why did Europe start the first World War? They did't like being sans-Ferdinand."

"I love my ribcage. It is very close to my heart."

"Did you ever realize that almond milk lasts four times longer than regular milk? That's nuts, right?"