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Joke of the Day

"Friendly Competition my girlfriend and i often laugh about how competitive we are. but i laugh more :)"

"Please listen closely... Attention: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses WWII and Wednesday comes *after* Tuesday."

"I broke up with my girlfriend on a ski trip Our relationship was going downhill."

"Why are farmers the best at what they do? They are out standing in their field."

"Why was the healthy potato not allowed on the plane? He was on the ""No Fry"" list."

"Know how I know I am getting laid tonight...? Because I am stronger than you."

"Mastercard Chinese Resturant Commercial General Tso's Chicken........ $11.50 Coca-Cola........ $1.99 Take out guy forgets container........ Riceless"

"Listen guys, I know this sub is all in good fun, but I don't think it's right to be making dumb jokes about obese people. They already have enough on their plates."

"Every onion looks like it was in an abusive relationship."

"[fixing your car stereo] Ah here's the problem [ejects Pitbull CD]"