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Joke of the Day

"The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking."

"Your huge boobs really bring out my eyes."

"Omg! Leonardo DeCaprio! Wanna hear a joke about the Oscars? Never mind, you probably won't get it anyways..."

"*[At the dinner table]* ""No grandma, those aren't knitting needles. We're having Chinese food"""

"If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive.. they'd eventually find me attractive."

"What did the cholo say when the houses fell on him? 'ey, get off me homes!"

"I only know bad chemistry jokes Cause all the good ones Argon"

"I could have sworn I saw spearmint flavored fig newtons at the shop the other day. But it turns out they were just a fig-mint of my imagination."

"Whats the Difference between Acne and A priest? Whats the Difference between acne and a priest? Acne wont come on your face unil youre 13."

"Chief Exec: Any Ideas? Writer 1: Talking Animals! Writer 2: How about a Princess? Writer 3: Kill the parents! -Brainstorming at Disney"