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Joke of the Day

"Omg! Leonardo DeCaprio! Wanna hear a joke about the Oscars? Never mind, you probably won't get it anyways..."

"My wife has this mood ring... It turns green when she's happy, blue when she's calm, and when she's angry it leaves a big red mark right on my forehead."

"Why is Arrested Development funny? Because the farce is strong with that one."

"I added Paul Walker on Xbox Live He spends a lot of time on the dashboard."

"No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense."

"My Girlfriend is anorexic. It's not going so well... I am seeing less and less of her everyday."

"75% of men dont get enough fibre in their diet.. ....tough shit"

"My dad called me a fool for taking a job at the penny factory. But the truth is it makes a lot of cents."

"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are under $2.00 while deer nuts are under a buck"

"If being a success was a sound, I bet it would sound a lot like this air pump I'm using to inflate my new furniture."