26007

Joke of the Day

"Omg! Leonardo DeCaprio! Wanna hear a joke about the Oscars? Never mind, you probably won't get it anyways..."

"What are Islamic extremists favourite drink? Smirnoff Isis"

"My friend asked me if I ever missed the idea of being in the womb. I said ""The only thing I'd miss was my umbilical cord....."" I was very attached to it."

"Someone on my street has taken up the clarinet, which has inspired me to take up the sniper rifle..."

"What do you call a retarded psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at-large!"

"What happens to donkeys in the winter? They change into brrrrrro's."

"If a 99lb girl eats a 1lb plate of nachos is she technically 1% nachos? I think I'm on to something..."

"Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear."

"Two fish are in a tank... Two fish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says, ""do you know how to drive this thing?"

"Why is the story of the Mayan Sacrifice girl so sad? Because she died a virgin!"