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Joke of the Day

"I saw a hot dog vendor today... She was good looking, but I don't really want a dog."

"The wife asked me, ""When you're on a business trip away, do you think about me?"" Apparently ""Only to stop myself from cumming too quickly"" wasn't the right answer."

"What do you call a person who supports abortion yet believes it's murder? A psychopath."

"Vegetarians have been screaming, ""Save the Animals!"" for years. If they were really interested in animals, why do they keep beating a dead horse?"

"what did they call the Mexican after losing a finger minus juan"

"Why were the Boston Marathon Bombings worse than Hitler? (OFFENSIVE) Because they actually managed to end a race."

"What do you call an emotionless Asian woman? A rice queen!"

"You might as well shoot for the stars because... Best case scenario you succeed and are immediately vaporized into nothing. Worst case scenario you miss and fade into the endless void of nothing."

"Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but I hear the reception was excellent."

"I just put the L earbud in my right ear and the R in my left ear and every punchline I came up with for this joke sucked ass."