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Joke of the Day

"Oh good, a gift card to Arby's. *waits for their birthday* Them: Thanks Aimee for the... *opens box* (cat hair pasted to paper & framed)"

"What do you call someone who dyes thier hair red? Trans-ginger."

"3 white girls go to a hotel . whats it called the "" i can't eve inn"

"""Jessica wasn't usually dead. So when we found her dead we immediately knew something was wrong."" -Investigation Discovery"

"Researchers say men are 3 times more likely to be the first to say ""I love you"", than women. In our defence, ladies, we don't mean it"

"What did the hat say to the tie? You just hang here, Ill go on ahead"

"Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."

"""These boobs are made for walking!"" -Inventor of FootBoobs."

"You're like pizza at a Chinese buffet. I ain't feeling you but I see you over there, doing you, and I respect that."

"why don't you see elephants hiding in the trees that often? because they're really fucking good at it"