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Joke of the Day

"Prostitutes in Amsterdam are very demanding... The last one I went with made me wash my Old Man in the sink! Can't even remember why I took Dad in the first place."

"Two Hydrogens walk into a bar and spot an Oxygen Feeling adventurous, they approach her and ask ""Hey baby, can we interest you in a waterway?"""

"Leather armor is the best for sneaking because it's literally made of hide."

"When the window fell into the incinerator, it was a pane in the ash to retrieve."

"No matter how ugly, no matter how fat, you'd still sleep with her. Who is she? OP's mom"

"I just read a story about someone finding a dead body at a Walmart. HOW EMBARRASING, I'd never be caught dead at a Walmart."

"Is athlete's foot [gulp] fatal, doc? ""Not with the proper treatment."" *gives foot $56M 7-year contract*"

"My yoga teacher is awesome. She really bends over backwards."

"Birds are dinosaurs? No. I want dinosaurs here or I want them completely gone. I don't need a bullshit imitation dinosaur to shit on my car."

"What does a Catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common? They both came in a little behind."