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Joke of the Day

"Breaking news: A man has drowned in a bowl of Cheerios. Ironically his family didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

"What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner? Carbon dating."

"My black pants had more cat hair on them after they came out of the dryer. Guess I should check the dryer for cats before I start it."

"Two girls and a cup walk into a bar They get shitfaced"

"How do Mexicans cut pizza? Little Caesars (say it out loud)"

"I can't remember a time I wasn't waiting for my next meal to start"

"A man dies in the desert next to a rock. How did he die? The rock is kyptonite and the man is superman."

"Did you hear about WHO's new report about processed foods causing cancer? Who?"

"Now that I'm 40, it's time to put aside childish things and be a man lol just kidding I'm drawing pictures of raccoons flying spaceships."

"What's the difference between your mom and my mom? Your mom still sucks my dad's dick"