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Joke of the Day

"I see subway employees are still having their ""how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich"" contest."

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""" I had a nightmare "" - Racist having the same dream as Martin Luther King Jr."
"I'm single by choice...of others."
"If God made anything better than pussy he kept it for himself."
"[girlfriend finally texts back] ME: i'm so mad at you. HER: i'm naked come over. ME: i'm not really mad i was jk lol omw babe"
"What did the boys do ToGetHer? Roam And Tick things.."
"A Jedi Knight was singing Livin' On A Prayer. It was Obi Wan Bon Jovi"
"What did the scientist say when he stubbed his toe? Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium."
"I spotted a machine in a store that read ""It'll do to you what you do to eggs!"" and I'm still trying to figure out what that means. Beats me."
"Why is drinking American beer like making love in a canoe?"
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