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Joke of the Day

"I can't remember this joke. This joke had a sadist, masochis, murderer, rapist, and some other guys all talking about what they were going to do to a cat. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?"

"Why did the washing machine stop? Somebody threw the towel in."

"Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves."

"Did you hear about the guy that farted in church? He had to sit in his own pew."

"The year is 2036, President Jaden Smith is re-elected in a landslide after making it illegal to respond to someone's text message with ""K"""

"Always be yourself, unless you can be a giraffe. Then, be a giraffe."

"*writing classic song* Damn, I have the ""For he's a jolly good fellow"" part repeating three times but how am I gonna wrap this bad boy up?"

"My girlfriends are like computers. I mistreat them, load them with viruses, and then I break them."

"Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived."

"What's in a white mans pants and more than 4 inches long? Nothing"