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Joke of the Day

"Why did the washing machine stop? Somebody threw the towel in."

"The difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser is depth perception."

"I was standing outside their school waiting for the kids to finish, when a parent came up and asked ""So which one is yours?"" I replied ""Not sure, haven't decided yet""."

"*makes eye contact with beautiful woman across fancy restaurant* Waiter, send that woman a glass of your finest Sprite."

"What has two thumb drives full of porn and forgot his laptop was hooked up to the projector?"

"I threw a parking cone at someone. I am the drunkest person in the United states."

"My Proctologist does horoscopes which, I guess, makes him an Asstrologist."

"Q: How's your visit in North Korea? A: Can't complain ..."

"Bunch of good one-liners"

"What was the shy rock's wish? To be a little boulder!"