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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take me a minute to get hard - I just got laid by a chick."

"What did the programmer call his ship? Sea++"

"[at funeral] ""it was so sudden"" really? ""yeah right in the middle of rap battle"" I thought you said he died of dysentery TERRY: That's right"

"Hot Dads in ur Area Are Disappointed in ur Browser History Especially the One ur Watching Right Now With Midgets Dressed Like Dinosaurs"

"Baby I'm no weather man but you can expect a few inches tonight "

"Babies are really expensive, which is why all the ones in Babies R Us don't have price tags."

"What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear? Denim denim denim...denim denim demin I'll see myself out now...thank you"

"Call of Duty is like the Boy Scouts, everyone's gay, and there's a lot of camping."

"My children are the reason hurricanes are named after humans."

"How Do they say ""F**k You"" in Hollywood? ""Trust Me..."""