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Joke of the Day

"Babies are really expensive, which is why all the ones in Babies R Us don't have price tags."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? You suck his dick."

"Did you hear about the 50yo who couldn't deliver a baby? She was having a midwife crisis."

"Ethnic cleansing Is that what Michael Jackson did?"

"What do you call a long vegetable that flies in a V? asparagoose"

"If I could be any animal I'd pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja."

"When you say, ""save me some nachos"" and I say, ""okay"" think Rose at the end of Titanic saying ""I'll never let go""..as she lets go."

"I missed the first day of Fight Club But the second day was really enjoyable, I would recommend it."

"I just had a coughing fit and think I accidently created a Nicki Minaj song featuring Ke$ha. Sorry, you guys."

"Why did Hitler fail math in high school? Because he could never get to the Final Solution."