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Joke of the Day

"What does weed and your girlfriend have in common? They both leave me sticky fingers. [7]"

"The difference between an epileptic oyster sucker and a hooker with diarrhea? one shucks between fits."

"Did you hear about the gay midget? he came out of the cupboard"

"How many anti-Trump protesters does it take to change a lightbulb? TRICK QUESTION. THEY CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING."

"Me: What did you do at preschool? 3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down."

"Edison stole the idea for the lightbulb from the lightbulb that appeared above his head when he got the idea for the phonograph."

"Are there any 6 foot penguins round here? Asked the stranger who just pulled up wih his truck outside a bar. ""No"" the barkeep replied. ""Well fuck,"" he said, ""I guess I just ran over a nun..."""

"i put grape soda in my mini super soaker and i'm squirting it into my mouth. this is how you turn a monday, into a funday."

"Auto-correct is the new... Is Auto-correct the new Freudian dick? Or Is Anal-correct the new Freudian slip?"

"And then there was the Newfie who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head. He'd tried to hang himself with a rubber band."