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Joke of the Day

"What do you call cheese that's not yours? NACHO CHEESE!"

"On this pesticide spray it says, ""Keep away from children."" Fuck, they knew I was coming."

"Made this up two days ago: What did the French guy say when a bird pooped on him? I have Grey Poupon me"

"Oh you like Oreos? Name five of their albums. And I'm talking their obscure shit like watermelon, none of this main stream birthday cake shi"

"Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic."

"How is the NFL like Brokeback Mountain? The Cowboys suck!"

"What do you do when your one night stand doesn't take Plan B? Plan C-ya."

"I don't get sports lingo. It's always offsides this, penalty that, murder this, sexual assault that."

"Ever read a book or see a film that touches you so deeply it changes your whole worldview? I just took a shit like that."

"Look mom, my tits are bigger than yours! :D ""That's not funny, Kevin."""