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Joke of the Day

"My son and I play a game where he talks all day and I bang my head against a wall."

"A lime and banana decided to become a stand-up comedy duo and called themselves ... Key and Peele."

"He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He's a serial killer named Terrence Fishman & he plans to kill you Monday"

"Did you hear about that kid who claimed that his age was 2015? He was infact a *year* old."

"NSFW. What do you get when you mix a rooster with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"What's do 9v batteries and buttholes have in common? You aren't supposed to lick them, but you do anyway."

"MIL: You're going to give me a heart attack someday! M: Last time I checked you didn't even have a heart."

"Inside Out 2: The girl enters puberty. Her emotions get out of control. She goes Goth. Sadness murders the other emotions in their sleep"

"Two eggs and a strip of bacon walk into a bar The bartender looks at them and says, ""Sorry - we don't serve breakfast here."""

"Why did the dung beetle go to rehab? He was rolling balls."