106058

Joke of the Day

"A woman went to get implants in her butt However, her butt was instead injected with cement. I guess you could say she hit rock bottom"

"For an ""adult"" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books"

"What do little miss muffet and ISIS have in common? They both have curds in their whey."

"[wakes up from a 15 year coma] sweet, x files still goin strong"

"Literally no one wants to be on the phone with you less than the lady who answers the phone at a Chinese restaurant."

"Police have arrested a cat for robbery Guess they've identified the purrpetrator"

"What do you call a ghost chicken? A poultry-geist!"

"I wonder how smart I'd be if my brain were as good at remembering anything as it is at remembering every humiliating thing I've ever done"

"Why does Voldemort always sit in the nosebleed section at events? So he'll finally have the chance to get a bloody nose."

"My insomnia has it's own toothbrush in my bathroom."