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Joke of the Day

"SEX RESULTS Sex shouldn't result in pregnancy. If we were perfect beings, sex would have two functions: for pleasure and to complicate friendships."

"Why is there such a shortage of teachers in Africa? Teacher's aides"

"I heard the best geography joke today... I would tell you but you had to be there."

"Date - ""so...are you going to be doing that for the whole date?"" [i can't hear her over my tuba]"

"What did the botanist say to his assistant ""WATER THOSE!"""

"Why are pirates angry after leaving the bathroom? Because after ""p"" comes ""irate"""

"Mermaids: Can't live with them, can't beat them in a potato sack race."

"I am all for women receiving equal rights and lefts!"

"The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan."

"Why did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do an essay."