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Joke of the Day

"How fast do lesbians have sex? Lickety-split."

"People that proudly carry their yoga mats around town... I get it. I carry my Burrito around with that same pride."

"What starts with P and ends with orn? ;) Popcorn."

"A spider the size of a golf ball is in my kitchen so I guess this is my last tweet."

"Fun bible fact: No records exist of Jesus' life from age 12 to 30 because he was backpacking across Europe with his pet Pterodactyl"

"I bought my cat a box of wine... The selfish rascal only wanted to play with the box! Also, it turns out I have a serious drinking problem and no cat."

"I was going to share my joke about cocaine with you But it's only a one liner"

"I'm really disappointed after hearing about Trump and the golden shower thing. I thought we had seen the end of republican trickle down economics."

"If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday how does he do it? The horse's name is Friday!"

"Why do squirrels swim on their back? to keep their nuts dry."