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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a heroine and heroin? One's an object that's easily abused, the other's a drug."

"There is no ""g"" in paradigm. ""You're thinking of phlegm,"" she says. Well now I am."

"I'm going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, tell them, I'm outstanding."

"Guy walks into his house with a duck under his arm. His wife's standing there. He says ""This is the pig I've been fucking""."

"I visited a dyslexic Christian clairvoyant today... She read my Psalm"

"My friend is like a Jew during WWII In the closet."

"A student was writing all his answers in ||||| format... Teacher: What are you doing? Student: I am writing all my answers in bar code, so that no one can copy it... New Method of Answer"

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb ? Just Juan."

"Don't trust atoms. Seriously, don't. They make up everything."

"what's it called when you're secretly a norse god? you're low key loki"