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Joke of the Day

"A lady got off the train so I finished her crossword. Turns out she'd just gone to the toilet and now she's back and she hates me."

"How does a woman take care of her asshole? She packs him a lunch and sends him to work."

"Ran my first 10K this morning. Just kidding I'm on my third donut."

"Heard they are making the Tetris movie into a trilogy... They must think its going to be a real blockbuster."

"..... Ya see we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?"

"What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper share the same middle name... coincidence?... I think not."

"I have a diabetic racist uncle who doesn't get on with milk. He lacks toes and tolerance."

"Why is Islam in Iran so bad? Not exactly sure why, myself, it's just Shiite"

"Irish Pooing Competition So I entered an Irish pooing competition the other day. I came Turd."