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Joke of the Day

"A lady got off the train so I finished her crossword. Turns out she'd just gone to the toilet and now she's back and she hates me."

"What's the name of the Mexican woman with no legs? Cuntswaylow"

"Child on fire Would a crazy kid whose state-paid temporary parents set him on fire be a bananas Foster child?"

"What do you call a smarty pants? ...... A jeanius"

"Have you ever heard of the lady who was accused of being the infamous Quilted Killer? She's innocent until proven quilty."

"*sees couple holding hands* *violently breaks them apart* ""Go. You're free now."""

"Last night I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69... She made me sweet and sour pork with fried rice."

"Why are people leaving the Ukraine? I don't know but they sure are Russian."

"Why is stevie wonder always smiling? No one's told him he's black."

"What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? A Dictator."