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Joke of the Day

"Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper share the same middle name... coincidence?... I think not."

"I stole a jar of jelly from a friend... While I was blasting some Daft Punk. He chases me down yelling ""That's my jam!"""

"I'm unpredictable. Like a dad on a field trip."

"Did you hear about the mexican train killer? He had locomotives."

"A bikini is an outfit where 90% of a woman's body is exposed. The amazing fact is that men are so decent, they only look at the 10% that isn't."

"People who do not use the grocery store divider bar can rot in hell."

"A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walks into a bar. He orders a drink."

"I had a sip of the Milky Way galaxy. It turns out I'm galactose intolerant."

"I knew I'do have to close the podiatry clinic I had opened in Paris. I smelled defeat."

"Why couldn't we get precise kinetic data on the phosphine-catalyzed reaction? The reaction rate was too phos-phor-us"