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Joke of the Day

"I never said that I hated you! All I said is that I hope you have your period when the next Sharknado comes around."

"A computer once beat me at chess. But it was no match for me at kickboxing."

"What kind of chemical bond is Hispanic? An Ester Bond"

"If I park 20 spots from the store in an empty parking lot and you park next to me, I'm slamming my door into your car 34 times."

"What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am? It's your dad."

"[NSFW] What's the difference between priests and pimples? Pimples only come on your face after you turn twelve."

"Young woman... There was a young lady from Exeter, So lovely the men all craned their necks at 'er. But only one was so brave as to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at 'er."

"what do you call a gassy Scotsman? Bravefart"

"Why do melons always have big weddings? Because they can't elope."

"Q: Why do they call a horse a horse? A: Because they speak English."