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Joke of the Day

"Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break."

"I really hate those russian stacking dolls. They are so full of themselves."

"Whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise."

"Be careful what batteries you use. My GF uses Energizer batteries and her kid keeps going and going."

"Michael died while working at the clock factory. None of his friends were sad about it, they all said his time had come."

"I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs."

"What did the gay Zombie crave? BRIANS."

"love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's shit"

"English is hard to understand It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though."

"What is it called when foreign girls spread their legs? I call it the British open."