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Joke of the Day
"I think I've finally crossed the line. ~~Line.~~"
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"A friend of mine has a left foot fetish. It's just not right."
"Sleeping Beauty has a pretty good situation going on until Prince Charming came and screwed it up."
"I baked a cake shaped like Canada, and offered my brother the Quebec slice.... but he's having Nunavut."
"Five. Five dollar. Five dollar (and thirty five cents sales tax) footlong."
"Whats the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker stops fucking you when your dead."
"Two words that would mean the end of Twitter - Miley Bieber."
"Y'all notice how Tumblr is full of people blogging about guns? Seems like every other blog has a 'Trigger Warning.'"
"My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for Christmas I don't think they understood when I said 'I wanna watch'"
"How do you know if a woman uses a vibrator when pregnant The kid stutters"