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Joke of the Day

"Thor. He follows the same naming conventions as macho men with their dogs. Thor means thunder. But also the literal translation of Mjolnir is ""crusher""."

"Did you hear about the dairy farmer who got kicked off his farm for not having any livestock? It was a no cows eviction."

"my doctor refuses to fight me and i think it's cause he saw how i barely cried during my flu shot"

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening."

"Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ? He was trying to make both ends meet !"

"You may think it's a good idea to go to weight watchers to meet women... but actually the ones there are quite hard to pick up."

"When I see a person with facial tattoos, I also know that I will see them in handcuffs if I follow them around long enough."

"An Irishman applies to a job at a Blacksmiths ""Have you any experience at shoeing horses?"" asks the Blacksmith ""No"" says the Irishman ""but i once told a donkey to fuck off"""

"BEN CARSON: On the news I saw a portal to another dimension open & robots came out, we need to stop that MODERATOR:That was The Avengers sir"

"Whoever thought up the spelling of the word ""queue"" is stueuepid."