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Joke of the Day

"BEN CARSON: On the news I saw a portal to another dimension open & robots came out, we need to stop that MODERATOR:That was The Avengers sir"

"I appreciate people venturing into entrepreneurship but is it really necessary to call yourself CEO when your firm is total of 3 people?"

"Still don't understand why all car commercials show the car skidding out of control."

"People always look at me weird when I argue with my food, but what can I say? I cook a mean steak."

"If you had to decide between being fat and rich or poor and skinny, what bridge would you sleep under?"

"England fans must be pretty happy right now. They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain."

"saw girl I have crush on with her new fiance at Ikea but you know what they say, when God closes a Stras Innjrden he opens a Fonstrvivig"

"TIL TIL means TIL"

"I went for a job as a stunt double, I stubbed my toe on my way out the door. As soon as I stopped crying, I went to the interview. Bravery."

"Have you heard the joke about the bed? No. It hasn't been made up yet!"