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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's a very obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz? The porcupine's pricks are on the outside."

"Mr. Tripler, your U.S. Patent request for ""YO I WANNA PATENT MY NEIGHBORS CAT MORPHEUS SO HE MINE NOW"" has been declined."

"The first time I got a universal remote control... I thought to myself, ""This changes everything."""

"Someone complimented me on my driving today They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

"What's the difference between 'your mum' and 'knock knock' jokes? A door doesn't let you come inside."

"Why doesn't Hitler go ski? Cause he's blown his fucking head."

"How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!"

"Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend."

"I think you can all settle down. Its unlikely Instagram will ever find buyers for photos of 20 000 feet and a billion sunsets."